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Network Marketers - Why Learning To Listen Will Pay Big Benefits In Your BusinessTip! Too many people go to business networking events with the wrong focus and try to force their service down your throat. If you are not on the top of your game, you will end up stoically listening to a bunch of pitches instead of getting the person to have a real conversation. One of the most valuable skills you can learn as a Network Marketer and MLM Distributor is the ability to listen effectively and understand what is being meant, not just what is being said. More than anything else, I know, the mere act of listening will draw people to you like a magnet. Remove your ego and the necessity to randomly talk about you and your solutions in your conversations, and you will achieve more than you can ever imagine. Do we listen to people? Based on my experience, we don't. And we appear to listen least to those we are closest to, and understand them the least as well! And here is the other side of this coin. They don't listen to us either! That might explain many of the difficulties you encounter both in your personal life and as you go about building your Network Marketing and MLM business.
This is how we normally listen. For 45% of the time we are supposed to be listening, we are working out what we're going to say next. Another 45% of the time is spent waiting for a gap in the conversation so we can say it. That leaves only 10% of the time listening. So, are we listening when we spend only 10 % of the time doing it? No! We can't be. So, how much of the time should we spend listening? 100%! (When I ask this question, most of the responses I get are from 60% to 95%. The reason being, of course, is that people think they need to reserve some space to think about what they will say or ask next.) Tip! The first big step in Business Networking: Get out there. Put a smile on your face, introduce yourself, and expose yourself to people. Hearing and listening 100% requires you to do something that is alien for most Network Marketers and MLM Distributors, because they are never taught it. It requires you to let go of your need to clutter your mind with needless thoughts of working out what to say next, and to let the inner self take over. It requires you to listen and tap into to the essence of the other person. It requires you to listen to the other 90% that you normally miss, because that's where the real information is and how the relationship with the other person is cemented. So how do you listen 100% of the time? Here are a few clues: First, you have the ability to think 10 times faster than anyone can talk. If you know something about your Network Marketing business opportunity or products, and you listen to what is behind the problems revealed to you, you will automatically connect what they want with the correct features of your solution. Later, you can use those features to solve the problems you have heard. It's like having the features of your Network Marketing business opportunity stored in lots of spring-loaded drawers in the back of your mind, like the compact disc drawer on your computer. The right drawers with the right features will automatically pop out to solve the specific problems you hear. If, you hear them! Tip! By building relationships you will find that business comes to you. For example, over time, you will find that friends you have met in an online business networking community will know someone who is looking to become a distributor in your company or to purchase your products. Your Questions Come From The Answers Another clue about being able to listen 100% is that what you're going to say next is in the answers you get to your previous questions! It's all there! It's just that you must listen to the answers. Most Network Marketers and MLM Distributors listen selectively - listening for the things they want to hear - if they listen at all.
They listen with the intent to reply, not with the intent to understand the facts and feelings of where someone is coming from. Real listening requires letting go and concentrating on everything the other person says and doesn't say. If you think about it, it makes sense. People know the history of their life, and if you are to have any success in understanding whether you can help them, doesn't it make sense to enlist their help by asking about it first, then listening and finally speaking? Tip! A similar level of trust and mutual support develops in online business networking communities--at least among the men and women focused on building relationships. A third clue is to stop re-interpreting what people say to you, based on your own life's experiences, judgments, prejudices and thoughts. For example, have you ever had someone respond to a remark you made and his or her response had no bearing on what you were talking about or what you were meaning? How did you feel about that? - Annoyed, unheard, invalidated, or some other feeling? What wasn't this person doing? They weren't listening! Do you probably do the same thing to others? When promoting your Network Marketing and MLM business, misunderstandings of this sort are expensive - expensive in terms of money and time and, more importantly, in terms of relationships. A classic story illustrates how we think we know what someone means when in fact we don't. A lady was talking with a friend of hers, and she was relating how her husband had left her the week before and she hadn't heard from him since. She had no idea where he was. Her friend replied, "Oh! I'm sorry to hear that, it must be awful for you!" "On the contrary," was the response, "I've been wondering how to get rid of him for ages!" Tip! It's common knowledge that many jobs are filled through word of mouth networking, yet most job seekers begin their hunt without a strong business network. Having a dead, outdated or non-existent business network can extend the time it takes to find a job. You see how our own thoughts can misinterpret someone's words and what they are meaning. If, in the above case, the friend had got behind the statement and asked, "How do you feel about that?" or, "Tell me what happened," she would have had a clearer understanding of her feelings about the matter and would not have stepped into the minefield of miscommunication. Changing Your Listening Habits One of the challenges about effective listening is that (1) we're not sure how to listen, (2) what to listen for, or (3) even know how to respond to what someone says. From an early stage in our lives, what are we taught the most to get on in life - how to listen or how to express ourselves? Mostly, how to express ourselves! The truth is, the real art of communication is in the listening! Listening is a gift you can give anyone and it doesn't cost you a penny. Not only that, what you get in return is infinite. Deepak Chopra's book, The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success, states that, "The act of listening is one way to manifest the second law which is the Law of Giving." Interestingly, in my experience, this one action of listening will trigger all the other laws of success, turning them from a metaphysical reality into practical abundant reality. Tip! And sadly, many workers become lax at maintaining their professional network when they've worked with a company a while. With mass layoff announcements screaming at us every day in the news, having a dead or outdated business network can extend the time it takes to find a new position. So, take the time to review your listening skills. Next time you're speaking with someone, observe whether you're really listening or whether you're just waiting for the chance to have your say! Then make a deliberate effort to really listen and experience for yourself the difference it makes. You'll also notice the difference in the concrete results you get as you build your Network Marketing and MLM business. Michael Oliver is the author of "How To Sell Network Marketing Without Fear, Anxiety or Losing Your Friends!" and an internationally recognised speaker and trainer. Each year he helps thousands of Network Marketers, Independent Distributors and Direct Sellers achieve outstanding business and personal results. In 2004 and 2005, Michael was voted "Best MLM Trainer" in the annual "MLM Insider" poll. You can find more details about Michael's books and audio programs at http://www.NaturalSelling.com?c1=article&source=ezine&kw=7
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